There's just no getting around it

[Fearful]

Hello,
This is my first time here. I'm glad to see there is a place like this.
I have spent so much time in a dentist's office. I'm 55. I seem to have bad genes for teeth. I take good care of them, but they are all either filled or have crowns (9 so far).
Perhaps my problem is that I just can't deal with feeling frightened. But my problem isn't just going to the dentist's office, it starts from the moment I break a tooth off and know I need to go. I can't think of anything else, I can't enjoy anything, I'm just a mess......until it's over. This also happens when I just go in for a cleaning. Fortunately, the beta blocker I'm on gets me through the office visit without having a heart attack. But I just can't live with this constant fear.
Sometimes I'm tempted to just get dentures so I never have to go through this again. It's great if I can get right into the dentist, and get it over with, but if it happens on a friday (like this time), and I can't even call until Monday, my entire weekend is ruined, and I can feel my heartrate and BP going up. I see people who don't think twice about having to go to the dentist, and I'm so envious.
My dentist is great. He's kind and sensitive and gentle. But that doesn't seem to decrease my fears.
Anyhow........I guess I just have to live with myself being like this. I've tried every mind game there is, to not worry about it, but it just doesn't work. Every time I go to the dentist, afterwards I say to myself "Wow......that wasn't bad. Don't worry so much the next time!". But I still do!
I don't want to spend the next several days taking xanax and being out of it. And I have to drive myself to the dentist, so I can't be out of it then either. Bummer.
Thanks for letting me vent!

[letsconnect]

Hi there ,

you're welcome to vent ! Can't say I've got a solution to your problem... do you know at all what exactly it is you're afraid of?

One thing which many people swear by is this stuff called "rescue remedy", available in pharmacies/drug stores and natural health stores. The good thing about it is that you can still drive while taking it, so it might be worth a try...

Don't feel shy to post here anytime you feel like it, and sorry for being so unhelpful

[Fearful]

Thanks Letsconnect!

I think what bothers me the most is lying back so far. I'm overweight, and it's hard to breath. Plus, my mouth dries out so much. Also, the back of my nose (inside) closes up when I'm upside down, and I guess it's the struggle to breath and all the pressure in my head that I hate. I've asked the doc to not put me back so far, but he has to, in order to work on me. I'm sure he would stop if I asked him to.......but I usually just bite the bullet, in hopes of it being over soon.
It just seems like all the blood in my body goes to my neck and head when I'm leaning back, and it sets off a panic attack.
When people tell me going to the dentist doesn't phase them, I just can't believe it. Life would be so easy if I could feel that way!! I know it would help if I lost alot of weight.........but you know how that goes.
I've never heard of that rescue remedy.........I'll definitely check it out!
I know I'm going to have alot of teeth problems, especially as I age. It really bums me out thinking that I'll have to spend so much of my time freaking out over it. Thanks for your help!

[letsconnect]

Fearful said:

I think what bothers me the most is lying back so far. I'm overweight, and it's hard to breath. Plus, my mouth dries out so much. Also, the back of my nose (inside) closes up when I'm upside down, and I guess it's the struggle to breath and all the pressure in my head that I hate. I've asked the doc to not put me back so far, but he has to, in order to work on me. I'm sure he would stop if I asked him to.......but I usually just bite the bullet, in hopes of it being over soon.

It's an interesting one, actually. A lot of people with a dental phobia cannot lie down, but I've never actually asked them what angle is OK (and I take it when they talk about "sitting up", they don't mean sitting up straight). Personally, I can lie down horizontally, no problem, but "upside down"... different matter (only for very short periods of time, if absolutely necessary. Don't like it one bit). I'm gonna ask around some dentists what the technical difficulties are and will let you know!

In any event, it would be worth sharing what you described here (struggling to breathe etc.) with your dentist when you see him next, so that he can either choose a slightly different position (one more comfortable for you) or at least minimize the time you spend in a position you find difficult.

Fearful said:

I've never heard of that rescue remedy.........I'll definitely check it out!

I hope it's called rescue remedy in the US as well... let me just check on the web... yup, it is. It's one of the Bach Flower Remedies, and it's over-the-counter.

I'll let you know what I can find out about chair positions !

[Fearful]

Hi Letsconnect,
I think the whole situation of having someone work inside your mouth, doing uncomfortable things, just in itself is unpleasant. But when you add other things......like not being able to breath....it just gets worse. I was thinking about it today, and I think if I could sit at a 45 degree angle, I would probably be fine. But somewhere after that, all the blood in my body starts going to my head, and I can't hear, and feel like I'm suffocating.
My dentist is really nice about it, but he just can't see to work if I'm up high, and it hurts his back.
The rescue remedy sounds interesting, but I would want to try it at home a few days, before using it at the dentists.
I've also been told that I can increase my beta blocker the day of my dentist visit, so I might try that. I'm just very sensitive to coming back down on it, and can get a whopper of a headache from doing that......so I'm a bit hesitant.
I spent alot of time at the dentists when I was little, and back then, they really weren't very nice to little kids, and their equipment wasn't very high tech. So I'm sure I'm reacting to an old fear.........but as we all know......they're not easy to get rid of!

Do you think everyone here, who has problems with the dentist, gets nervous the minute they know they need to go?? I just can't believe how overhwhelmed I am with the anxiety about going. It's funny.........I suppose we look "weak" to alot of people, for even getting so worked up. But when you consider that we go, in spite of these tremendous fears........well, I think we're just downright brave!

[letsconnect]

Fearful said:

My dentist is really nice about it, but he just can't see to work if I'm up high, and it hurts his back.

Obviously, you could try and find someone who is both physically able and prepared to work on you at a 45-degree angle. But it sounds like you're very happy with him otherwise, so I'm not sure you would want to do that

Fearful said:

The rescue remedy sounds interesting, but I would want to try it at home a few days, before using it at the dentists.

No harm in trying it out first... it's safe to mix it with the beta blockers, as far as I'm aware, but you can always ask the pharmacist for advice.

Fearful said:

Do you think everyone here, who has problems with the dentist, gets nervous the minute they know they need to go??

I think it varies tremendously from person to person. I don't really feel much (or any) anticipatory anxiety at all these days, but it really depends on what your particular fears or anxieties are about (I would have to add though that a lot of this is due to "total immersion" as a result of running this site, lol - something which wouldn't really be practical for many people. Still, it's a welcome side-effect for me ). And, of course, almost everyone experiences some degree of anxiety before unknown or potentially uncomfortable procedures. I think anyone who goes in spite of their anxiety is amazingly courageous .

[Fearful]

Thanks for your help Letsconnect!