If you are really honest.......

[SoSoScared]

Has anyone actually thought it would be better to die than have to visit the dentist? Just woncering if it is only me?

I know several times during my life when I have faced dental treatment I have thought that suicide would be easier.

I have gone on and had the treatment done but as I face it again, that is exactly how I feel.

Am I just 'weird' or has anyone else ever felt this way. Wish I could try tranquilisers etc. but I fear loss of control so have to live with these feelings every time.

I watch other people trip along to the dentist with no fears at all and am so envious of how they are. For me it is days of fear and suicidal thoughts. Why am I so daft?

Can anyone relate?

[den]

absolutely no, you're not weird! can't say I've contemplated suicide - but I have made 'logical' calculations in my mind...what's the chances that my life might run its course and I'll die before my teeth get in such a state that I have to seek help...
anyway, I'm still here. maybe for a few more years yet. I make my third visit to the dentist tomorrow (I'm back there, after a 25-year break) - and I'll be starting some real treatment. it's still one hell of a battle to get through that surgery door - but at least I think I'm slowly coming to the terms with the fact that going to the dentist is going to have to be a part of life!

[SoSoScared]

Thanks for your comments Den!!

As I sit here I really think I would rather die than go to the dentist on Wednesday. Why is that for goodness sake? What is it about the procedure that is so terrifying?

There is just no logic to it really but the endless battle is so tiring. I have been through it about 5 times in my life, when I have absolutely had to have treatment but it never gets any easier.

I wouldn't mind if conquering it once meant you are cured but with me it doesn't. I never go back for the first check up after a course of treatment, and off we go again.

The battle just goes on and on and I am exhausted by it. At least when you are dead you can forget about your teeth.....right now that sounds a pretty good deal to me!

[jamesy]

Phobias don't have to have a logic. And, like you said, just going once will not "cure" you. There are many, many steps along the way, the first (and hardest) I believe is that initial appointment.

I can't say that I wanted to die, but I did think that if all my teeth got bad and fell out, then I could get straight, white clean dentures and never need to go to a dentist.

What is "daft"? Is that like crazy?

Good luck to you on Wednesday!

-James

[letsconnect]

Most definitely I would have rather died at one stage in my life than ever see a dentist. I would have rather seen everyone on this planet die. Embarrassing, but very true . I did some pretty stupid self-injury things in the weeks before I eventually went to see a dentist again after a long absence as well.

I might be a bit unusual in that I didn't feel much in the way of fear after eventually going back, but I would attribute that solely to my dentist at the time rather than anything about myself. When I say "much in the way of fear", I mean that my heart would still be pounding, but I knew it was going to work out just fine. Kind of mixed - half looking forward to it, but still physically afraid. The last time I went was the first time I didn't feel any sort of anticipatory anxiety. It's taken a few years .

It all depends on the causes of your fear and your personal history, though. I got very lucky.

[SoSoScared]

Thank you for your responses. It makes me feel less like the only one in the world who feels as I do!!

And yes Jamesy - 'daft' does mean crazy here in the UK!!!

You seem to be suggesting that perhaps there is no 'cure' for a phobia but rather it is learning to control it.

It makes me angry that I have been through this misery before - had the treatment - yet always walked away again as it is much easier not to keep facing the problem. Not sure if this makes me incredibly weak willed or quite normal.

I have suffered so much because of this phobia and I am reminded of the saying 'the coward tastes of death a thousand times, the brave man only once..' In other words my fear just goes on and on and every course of treatment reduces me to sucidical thoughts/tears. My boyfriend has had loads of dental work done and he is not remotely concerned. I have to struggle so hard and he needs do nothing - and he has no ability to comprehend how I feel, which just makes me feel worse!!

His attitude is 'sympathy just makes you worse. Grow up and deal with it'. If only I could!! No-one would do this to themself.

At least here I am understood which is a huge help.

[den]

I know what you mean...anyone who can go to the dentist without a care has no idea what dental phobia is like - how it can overshadow all of your life, day to day, and how you have to struggle against it. So - we're not the cowards, we're the brave ones, because we have the real battle to fight!

[KJS]

I'm a lurker, have been hanging around for a while and have a couple of things to say about this. Sorry if its a bit long.

I recently found the "courage" (although I'm not sure that courage is the right word) to visit a dentist after almost twenty years and inflict upon her my quite advanced gum disease. Its bad, although not quite as bad as I thought it might be. Last week I had two teeth (one at the back, one canine at the front) taken out. The front one has been replaced (immediately after the extraction) with a temporary denture while I go through a course of treatment for the periodontal disease. Then, hopefully, it will be replaced by a bridge. I may or may not lose more teeth. I don't know. I do understand how you feel I think. I had brief moments when I thought of suicide. Phobias can take over your life and make reasonable intelligent people into irrational beings. For what it is worth, here is my advice:

1. Tell someone. Really tell them. My husband had no idea how bad it was or how afraid I was. He has been simply fantastic.

2. Go private if you possibly can in the UK. Its not about skill or even kindness, its about the amount of time a dentist can afford to give you. The dentist that I have found is gentle, kind and non-judgmental. She made me feel that the state of my teeth was a challenge to be addressed by her (and the periodontal specialist she is referring me to) professional skills. I never felt judged for a second. Its going to be very expensive ... I've spent about £500 so far. There is more to come. Its on my credit card and we are going without a holiday.

3. Schedule appointments close together. I met the dentist (a long chat, a look without touching and a pan-oral x-ray) at the first appointment. Had impressions (I hated that) at the second, and had the extractions done at the third (last Friday). This was weekly appointments over three weeks.

4. Accept oral sedation. I completely understand that you have a control issue. So did I. I was given tamazipam in the surgery an hour before the extractions and had my husband with me. At no point was I out of control or asleep and I remember everything. What I wasn't doing was panicking - not at all. I was tired as we drove home and slept very well that night. No other effects.

5. It shouldn't hurt. I had a number of painless injections to the gums, given very slowly. I felt nothing whatsoever during the extractions. I had a couple of painkillers at the surgery before going home, and haven't needed any since.

Of course its tender. And eating with this temporary denture in is a challenge - the two extractions were on opposing sides. I've taken a couple of days of work but didn't really need them. The most awful thing for me is taking out the temporary denture for cleaning - I find the gap very stressful to look at. Does anyone else feel this if they have lost a front tooth? I leave it in apart from cleaning twice a day. Nobody would know.

Heavy cleaning under the gums starts next week. I've been given Valium to take an hour before, and will be numbed for the procedure.

Don't feel suicidal ... get support and the right dentist. And take care.

[SoSoScared]

KJS - thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I really really appreciate it.

I am so ashamed of the suicidal thoughts. I am a professional woman to whom people look up for financial advice. What would they think if they knew that while I am talking to them my sub-conscious is always thinking about the trip to the dentist and a demon on my shoulder tells me if I died I would not have to face it.

It is unbelievable that anything can affect your life like this. That we (or certainly I) am considering death over a couple of hours dental treatment. I just can't get my head round it!!

I have no family I can talk to (parents dead, no brothers & sisters, children) but I have tried to 'really' talk to my boyfriend. The trouble is he just doesn't understand. Any more, for example, than I understand a work colleague who is terrified of dogs. To me that sounds completely insane and it is so hard for me to relate. Therefore it is impossible for my BF to know what to say.

He takes the view that people sympathising in the passed (I was never forced to go to the dentist by my parents as they never went) has not helped me. My ex husband was also terrified so neither of us went!! BF therefore uses a matter of fact 'get over it' approach and believes him coming with me to the dentist will not help me - that I have to overcome it alone.

I will ask about tranquilisers when I go tomorrow. I have an appointment with an NHS dentist to see how I get on with a check-up. I also have an appointment for early next month with a private dentist. The cost of the private treatment is horredous as you say. Though I must say the prospect of having more time with the dentist does not appeal. As far as I am concerned I want to be in and out in as little time as possible. I don't want to discuss the situation or have it explained, etc. I just want to run away as quickly as possible!!

So.....we will see what the NHS guy says and then if necessary I can contrast it with the private dentist. In a way I find it adds insult to injury to be charged so much to be so terrified and my only experience with a private dentist was to end up using all my courage getting my teeth whitened, which he insisted on doing first, and then never getting the fillings done!

As a result I now have a broken tooth which I am sure will have to come out. Fortunately my teeth are not too bad and my gums are fine as far as I know. I am lucky really because my teeth owe nothing to regular dental care as I have never had it! Just fire-fighting when necessary.

Wish this wasn't such a big thing and that everything today does not make me just want to cry my eyes out. I said to myself today 'in another 60 years or so you will be dead (if not before) then you will never have to face the dentist again'. Sad isn't it?

But thank you so much for your support, it is much appreicated.

[KJS]

You're welcome SoSoScared. I never used to be sure how much hearing other people's experiences can help with this kind of thing. I used to be of the opinion that this kind of support group/board made things worse, i.e. over-anxious people winding one-another up. That's how I felt when I was still just avoiding the dentist and before my teeth could no longer be ignored. Now I'm not so sure! It didn't directly help me to go to a dentist(I think that was ultimately an internal matter) but it did make me see that other people felt the same. I too am an educated professional, and there is nothing else that I am afraid of but this one thing.

I'm sorry about the BF. My husband is a pull-yourself-together-chap (so am I actually) on the whole. But over this he has been fantastic. He comes with me, looks after me afterward and is endlessly encouraging. He has no fear of the dentist and I'm not sure that he totally understands, but he has still been great because he can see how afraid I am. He has also seen us spend a fortune. If I wasn't married to him already I would propose - even though he does make rude jokes about when I have no teeth left.

Honestly, can you try once more to talk to BF? Write things down maybe? There is nothing better than that kind of support (i.e. the kind of person you can dribble on!), but failing that perhaps a friend? You won't be allowed oral sedation (go for it - don't over-exaggerate the effects of sedatives to yourself) without someone with you.

Look after the gums everyone. I have no decay whatsoever, but am losing teeth. Don't smoke, and if you do give up. If I can, anyone can.

[SoSoScared]

Thanks again KJS......you have been a great comfort.

At the end of the day we all have to do this 'alone' but I think knowing other people care, and understand our feelings is very important.

Currently my view is that the dentist will not be remotely bothered by who I am or how I feel. But there is a form to fill in to give to the receptionist and I am going to try and be honest on that. Before I have always hid my terror out of shame, but this time I plan to tell them..........

What have I got to lose really? I fear the chair and being restrained much more than the pain really. I see the dentist as my 'enermy' someone who wants to hurt me. The poor guy is probably no such thing, but what chance does he have with my attitude?

The waiting is so awful too. I just want it over with. Not sure if I will be able to go back a second time for treatment but I have to take this first step. At the end of the day it is making my utterly miserable, but I will also be miserable if my teeth all rot.

The trouble is, I could put if off for another week.......I usually do.........but I have to try and make a stand. I hate myself for being so pathetic but that is who I am I'm afraid.

[KJS]

Let us know how you get on. And think about trying to talk to your BF - write him a letter. Everyone is afraid of something.

Make the next appointment as soon as possible after the first. The waiting is terrible when you are afraid. There is nothing pathetic about you that isn't pathetic about me or many people using this forum. My original fear stems from multiple, painful extractions under gas in the early 1970s when I was seven - my mother was sent out of the room and I was held down. That would have an effect on most people - but it doesn't have to be that way with the right dentist in 2005. I think that on the whole they see themselves as a caring profession - if you can afford to go private (even if you have to make sacrifices) - do it. Tell him/her how afraid you are. And if that's not the right dentist for you, try and get recommendations from people like us. Each success story on this site must have a dentist behind them.

[vicki]

I can't say I've had suicidal thoughts about it but in the run up to appointments I quite often try to imagine myself so far into the future that I would either be dead or too old to care about it.

Sorry to hear you're so ashamed about things - quite often the shame makes the actual phobia ten times worse (or 100 times worse in my case ). Personally, I always feel really ashamed about the whole dental phobia thing which is why nobody knows about it apart from the people who read this board. I'm also a 'professional' - when I'm sat in a meeting with clients telling them what I propose to do with their millions of pounds worth of advertising budget - it seems ridiculous that I could have such a crippling fear and I feel really stupid. But it's who you are that counts, not what you are.

It also seems ridiculous that I'm scared of someone who is a similar age to me (I'm 26) and who doesn't actually have as many letters after their name as I do (not that it's important - but it eliminates the 'they are older/better than me' thing).

It's great that you've got a Plan B (arranging to see a second dentist as well as the NHS guy). I'm actually considering something similar myself for my next appointment - that way if things go pear-shaped (when I try to discuss my fears and hopefully sort something out), then I've got another option.

Hopefully things will go well for you , but if they don't then don't beat yourself up over it - you've summoned up the courage to do it, which proves that you do have the courage to try again - even though you're terrified. If you can put down your fears on that form and hand it over, that should be one fear off your mind - that way they'll know you're scared and hopefully treat you accordingly.

By the way, you may be pleasantly surprised by NHS treatment - as you said in another post - it is quick - but not a bad way, you still get the treatment you need (there's also less chance of them recommending something you don't actually *need* as the NHS only pays for necessary work - unnecessary work being carried out is also a fear of mine). This is part of the reason I've probably stayed at the same practice - even though I have dental insurance and so could go private if I wanted to!

Good luck!

[SoSoScared]

Thanks Vicki - it is my hope that the NHS dentist will not look quite as hard for things to do!!

Also while I know private treatment is more relaxed, less hurried, etc. - I am never going to be 'relaxed' however nice the colour scheme or the paintings on the wall.

I want to be out of there as fast as is humanly possible before my nerve goes!! I am terrified of the prospect of unnecessary treatment - the necessary is bad enough!!

Tomorrow I am hoping that when I get there I can simply say 'I am terrified - this is so hard for me to do - please help me'. I am sure I will cry but what I hope I don't do is put on my 'shell' and pretend I am fine.

If they know the truth they may be able to help me, they certainly won't if they thiink I am perfectly happy! If I don't like them I don't have to go back. I am not in any pain and while a couple of teeth are collapsing my Dad lived most of his life with broken black teeth and while it was unsightly it never killed him.....the smoking and lung cancer did that!!!!

So, what I am doing is 'elective' to the extent that I will not die if I don't have it done. It is my choice and while part of me rages at the other part for putting 'us' through this fear and misery, at the moment I am going through with it. That said there is still the long night alone to get through and then tomorrow morning. I will be as much use as nothing at work tomorrow but the alternative is staying at home crying, which is hardly going to help.

And I will be dead one day and the fear and the pain and all the other thoughts associated with the dentist will be gone. 'This too shall pass............'

Thanks again for your thoughts.

[vicki]

SoSoScared said:

I am never going to be 'relaxed' however nice the colour scheme or the paintings on the wall.

If you've already decided that you'll never be relaxed, on a subconscious level you're almost pre-determining the outcome of things aren't you?

Also, the more you go through the "what if" type thoughts beforehand, the more likely you are to wind yourself up even more about what might or might not happen. Having said that, I'm just as bad - which is why I can't sleep for weeks before appointments and spend a lot of the time in tears or panicking. I find it helps a bit to try and fill every spare moment of my time before appointments so I don't have time to think about anything else.

SoSoScared said:

I want to be out of there as fast as is humanly possible before my nerve goes!!

---

Tomorrow I am hoping that when I get there I can simply say 'I am terrified - this is so hard for me to do - please help me'. I am sure I will cry but what I hope I don't do is put on my 'shell' and pretend I am fine.

Sounds very much like me! As for my shell, well for the past 20 or so years, I've been very firmly glued into it (still am which is why I'm still terrified).

Perhaps you could write things down so you can hand it over if you do retreat into your shell? Even the sentence "I am terrified - this is so hard for me to do - please help me" will do for starters - it should at least get the ball rolling. Actually, if you can fill in the form and hand it to the receptionist, mentioning that you're terrified, then they'll know before you get in there so you might not have to worry.

SoSoScared said:

And I will be dead one day and the fear and the pain and all the other thoughts associated with the dentist will be gone. 'This too shall pass............'

Everybody dies someday so we have to make the best of what we've got while we're here. You don't have to live in fear of the dentist (says me - I'm still sh*t scared!) - if you give the guy a chance, then you're giving yourself a chance as well. *If* for whatever reason he's not right for you, then you've still got another option with someone else in a month. You won't know until you try...

[SoSoScared]

You are right Vicki, I don't know until I try. And logically, since I expect to hate every second of my visit, I am hardly likely to be shocked by anything It is difficult to imagine that it could be any worse than I think it will be.

The dentist I am seeing is apparently quite new to the practice and I suspect he will be trying to make an impression. Bad luck for him to come up against me I'm afraid!!! I hate him already and expect him to pin me into the chair and hurt me. I can feel the humiliation and panic washing over me just thinking about it.

I hope that trainee dentists are taught something of this. If they only know the mechanics then patients like me must be a bit of a shock I would think.

I have had so many nights like this - 'the night before a dentists appointment'. And they never get any easier.

I don't think I can conquer the phobia but what I have got to train myself to do is to 'suffer' with a little more dignity and resolve. I have got to stop feeling sorry for myself and as my boyfriend says 'grow up'. There are many nasty things about life and this is just one of them. I have to treat this like the other nasty things - illness, divorce, bereavement, etc. and simply get through it.

In the great way of things me being terrified and upset makes no difference to the world and I have got to try and get it into proportion. That can be hard to do however when you are exhausted by worry and fear and lack of sleep.

Hope I don't chicken out tomorrow. It would be so easy to run away. I was thinking on the way to work this morning 'if I was in an accident I would not have to go to the dentist tomorrow.......' Utterly ridiculous but just goes to show what a phobia can do to an otherwise sane and intelligent person.

My heart goes out to everyone who suffers like this. Nothing we have done in this life, or any other, can have been enough for us to have to go through this.

[vicki]

SoSoScared said:

And logically, since I expect to hate every second of my visit, I am hardly likely to be shocked by anything It is difficult to imagine that it could be any worse than I think it will be.

What happens if you try and imagine the opposite i.e. 'best case scenario' rather than the worst?

What would need to happen and/or how would they need to react/behave in order for you to feel that it'll be OK to go back for another appointment with them (even though you might still be terrified)?

What would it take for them to convince you that they're there to help (I know it's for money but try and ignore that aspect of it)?

SoSoScared said:

The dentist I am seeing is apparently quite new to the practice and I suspect he will be trying to make an impression. Bad luck for him to come up against me I'm afraid!!! I hate him already and expect him to pin me into the chair and hurt me.

If he's new to the practice then chances are that he'll be on his 'best behaviour'! Before offering him the job they'll have checked his references from his previous practice. If he was the kind of person who was into pinning patients into the chair then someone would know about it and it's highly unlikely they'd have given him the job. Scared patients aren't exactly good for publicity so logically, it's in their interests to look after patients isn't it?

SoSoScared said:

I don't think I can conquer the phobia but what I have got to train myself to do is to 'suffer' with a little more dignity and resolve.

You might be able to conquer it and you might not. But you don't have to suffer.... Why not settle for learning to 'cope' with it (maybe even with some help from a dentist) in the short term and see how things pan out... You might be surprised at what you can do.

SoSoScared said:

Hope I don't chicken out tomorrow. It would be so easy to run away. I was thinking on the way to work this morning 'if I was in an accident I would not have to go to the dentist tomorrow.......' Utterly ridiculous but just goes to show what a phobia can do to an otherwise sane and intelligent person.

No it's not utterly ridiculous - I quite often have the 'if I was in an accident' type thoughts. I suppose what makes it worse for me is that about 99% of the time I'm perfectly 'normal' and then there's the 1% when I have to go to the dentist. That 1% is so terrifying and big that for 2 or 3 weeks before an appointment (and obviously during it), it becomes the 99%.

When is your appointment? Sometimes people find a certain time of day is better for them. I prefer the first appointment to get it out of the way because otherwise I get so wound up that I'm ill and spend the day thinking about it (I also tend to count the minutes as it gets nearer).

[jamesy]

Hey SoSoScared,

Glad to see all the responses and support you have been getting!

SoSoScared said:

And yes Jamesy - 'daft' does mean crazy here in the UK!!!

Ok, thank you. Sometimes I think I understand what something means, but then I want to be sure in case I am wrong!

SoSoScared said:

You seem to be suggesting that perhaps there is no 'cure' for a phobia but rather it is learning to control it.

I guess I may not have been clear on that. What I meant to say was that *in your case* just going wasn't in and of itself a *cure*. Sometimes it is the unknown that stops people, so once they get in the door and see what really goes on, they are ok. I simply meant, since you had already gone, that it may not be as necessarily easy for you.
And perhaps I should not have used the word "cure", even in quotes. To me, when you are cured of something, it is gone and generally does not come back. I think your "learning to control it" phrase may have been better. I still get little twinges of anxiety when I go now; so I guess I don't think of myself as "cured".

Hope I haven't put my foot deeper into my mouth! Good luck on your appointment!

-James

[den]

Hello SoSo...just wishing you best of luck for today! If it's any help, I went yesterday, and had my first proper round of treatment - a heavy-duty scaling and cleaning. I'm lucky, I know - my teeth problems aren't as serious as some, amazingly enough after a 25-year absence from the dentist - but there's still this huge psychological hurdle to get over, just to get into the chair!
Arriving at the surgery, I feel I'm driving to my own execution! This was my third visit, and it does seem to get a little easier - but only a very little! - as you get to know & trust your dentist.
Even so, I had to ask for a glass of water when I arived, my mouth was so dry - and I hasd to hold it with both hands, because I was shaking so much.
I'm 54 years old, and my work has taken me into some of the world's worst danger spots, and yet here I was, trembling at the thought of a little dental work!! How daft (or crazy) is that? You wonder if you should 'grow up' - I don't think in this situation, we can. It brings out the child in us - the worst of childhood memories, that is. Good luck again - go in, knowing it will soon be over!

[SoSoScared]

Thank you all for your support!!! The dreaded day is here and I have about 4 hours to go.

To be honest, as has happened before, I have got to the point of such exhaustion from the worry that I am now actually wishing the time away to get it over with!!

All this for a check-up!! But it must be at least 10 years since I have been, and I know work needs to be done, so it is still a huge hurdle!

Den, I know just what you mean about going to your own execution!!! Sometimes I stop and think 'what am I doing? I can go the other way and not put myself through this' but of course at some stage you have to turn and face the music!!

I have taken notice of the people on this board who say that even in the last 10 years things have improved enormously. So we shall see!! I had the couple of bad experiences where I was due to have treatment and the dentist closed early and forgot to tell me......leaving me a nervous wreck who never went back, and the private dentist who wouldn't do the remedial work until weeks of tooth whitening had been done.

So.....I need to trust this guy enough to do what has to be done. I want to try and stay in control but I accept I may cry. I just hope I don't make a complete fool of myself, but if I do then I don't have to go back.

It is a big hurdle, it has ruined the last week of my life, but it will be over in a few hours. I don't suppose I will be in there more than 20 minutes - goodness knows what the ratio of worrying to actual time is!!! About 10,000 to 1 I would think!!!

Thank you all again.

[letsconnect]

I just want to add to all the "good luck" wishes - keeping my fingers crossed for you !!

[vicki]

Hang in there, its not long now... Try not to run through the worst that could happen though - it won't help (Yeah I know this is probably the kettle calling the pot black - I do it as well! ).

SoSoScared said:

So.....I need to trust this guy enough to do what has to be done. I want to try and stay in control but I accept I may cry. I just hope I don't make a complete fool of myself, but if I do then I don't have to go back.

Of course you want to try and stay in control - nobody likes the idea of becoming like a nervous and frightened child or even worse - having a panic attack - just look at the elaborate lengths I go to so I can try and cover it up !

If it helps try and think of it this way - statistically speaking, they must have seen people who are terrified and crying before. According to 'the figures' I think its something like about 58% who said they were nervous about going to the dentist and about 3% are terrified (yeah - we're all posting messages on this board! ;D). So if a dentist has say 1000 patients on their list, then according to the figures (can't remember where they came from - so they may not be totally accurate!) 30 of those patients are terrified which means that every 2 weeks they will (theoretically) see someone just like you. <--- this is what I keep telling myself for my next appointment

What I'm saying is, try not to worry about making a fool of yourself (ha! says me - again!) - they must have seen it before. If they have a problem with it then at least you'll know they're not the one for you. But it would take a right ar*e hole to view someone who is terrified as a problem wouldn't it? So even if you do cry, shake, panic or whatever else - if it's not a problem for them (fingers crossed! ) then hopefully you'll feel more able to go back for another appointment. Anyway cross that bridge *if* you come to it.

SoSoScared said:

....goodness knows what the ratio of worrying to actual time is!!! About 10,000 to 1 I would think!!!

Hey - with all this worry and panic - who needs excercise?!! ;D (That's my excuse for not excercising enough anyway!)

[SoSoScared]

Thank you all - I shall be mentally holding all your hands when in the chair!!

I shan't be able to report straight back as I am not coming back to the office and will not be near a PC. However, I will update you either tonight or early tomorrow morning UK time.

I don't need to describe to you how I feel - you all know only too well. I wonder how I shall feel when I leave - complete exhaustion or elation? Who cares? At least it will be over with......for now.

This is a tiny step - the treatment is going to be even more difficult. But I have to start somewhere.

For now a 'result' will be getting there - going in - not throwing any sort of fit - and leaving in a dignified manner!! lol. Not much I know - but a mountain for me!!

I can't thank you all enough - you have been brilliant seeing me through anger, despair, exhaustion and plain old unadulterated fear to get to this point.

I only hope my experiences will help others also.

[SoSoScared]

Well first appointment with new NHS dentist went really well. It was a very friendly atmosphere and not intimidating in the way I remember.

Unlike the private dentist I had seen previously, who seemed to think every filling should be replaced, this guy said I need two small fillings (one of which is absolutely tiny) a larger filling at the back and the extraction I was expecting.

He assures me the extraction (he referred to it as a 'retained root' since there is no tooth left!) would take seconds and would cause no problems whatsoever (it is that tooth on the right hand side at the top that lots of people seem to lose). He will do that together with the two tiny fillings and then the larger filling at a second visit.

No root canals as a previous dentist had suggested (he says I don't need them and it is far better not to have them) and nothing about my wisdom teeth being 'impacted' which I have heard before - they are through and have never caused me a moment's problem.

So a reasonably short period of treatment. Two x half an hour sessions. I couldn't believe he could do the first batch in such a short time but apparently he can!!

Cost for all this? Just over £60.........for the private guy I was considering it would be £40 for the initial check-up!! God bless the NHS and those dentists with skill who are still prepared to work within it!

After 6 months I may look at having a bridge since apparently it will take that long for the gum to settle down but he says to do that when I am ready - cost about £250 NHS or if I want a private one about £500 - apparently they are made just that little bit better.

So tonight I can have a good night's sleep. Yes, I have to go back in three weeks and it is going to be really hard but I feel I have passed the first hurdle.

Oh, and no scaling, cleaning, etc. the whole thing was so relaxed and non judgemental. He only took an x-ray of the tooth to be removed cos I kept fussing about whether it would come out easily......he said to put my mind at rest he would just x-ray it to make sure there were no problems. He said I was too much of a worrier!!

So there you have it. Thoughts of suicide, being mean to everyone I know, crying and making my life a misery for something which was fine.

I feel I have cleared a huge hurdle today. In the words of Winston Churchill (talking about the Battle of Britain but it applies here) 'It is not the end, it is not even the beginning of the end, but it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning......'

Thank you all for your support. I really appreciate it.

[vicki]

Congratulations!!

I wondered how you got on - as I bet did several other posters on here!

Yes, you have passed the first hurdle - go out and buy yourself a treat or two (self reward can work wonders - although I don't really need any excuse for shopping or 'retail therapy' ;D!).

Try not to worry yourself too much about the next appointment or 'hurdle' (a lot easier said than done, I know ), take it step by step and remember these bits from your post:

SoSoScared said:

Well first appointment with new NHS dentist went really well. It was a very friendly atmosphere and not intimidating in the way I remember.

----

the whole thing was so relaxed and non judgemental.

SoSoScared said:

So there you have it. Thoughts of suicide, being mean to everyone I know, crying and making my life a misery for something which was fine.

As I've come to realise since posting on here - it can do strange things to people - and I'm no exception!