Really scared...need advice!

[jenny42]

I am so glad i have found this site.
I havent been to the dentist for about 10 years...last visit was when i had wisdom teeth out and it was such an horrific experience, i have been unable to go since.
I now KNOW that probably most of my teeth need work doing to them.....i can see holes ( some at the root of the tooth by the gums), others just feel the holes in them!
I have bad tartar build up that i can see and my gums are in poor order.....i would point out that no teeth are loose yet....but i am so scared of going and bening todl they will all need to come out.
I am an anxious person anyway....and am worried by what a dentist would think of me, a relatively intelligent person...for lettiung my teeth get into this state!
I am using mouthwashes and i have stopped my gums from bleeding now, so hope this is a start!
I live in Birmingham England and am hoping someone can recommend a dentist who will not make me feel so stupid for letting this happen....i want to "stop the rot" if i can...i want to do evreything to try to keep my teeth (already have a "stump" at the back of my mouth with the remains of a tooth!)
Any suggestions?
I am so scared that i will go and be told its too late and that is part of what is stopping me going!

Jenny

[SoSoScared]

First of all Jenny - you cannot be more scared of the dentist than I am......I promise you that!! So you are not alone in feeling the way you do.

Second, please learn from me and do not feel that to be treated well you have to use a private dentist. I have recently found an excellent NHS dentist - they are hard to find simply as so few NHS dentists take new patients - but they are out there.

I was going to pay literally thousands for having my teeth fixed and it will now be less than £100 for the basic work - more if I decide to have a bridge.

You can go to a dentist - ask his opinion - and never go back. A check-up on the NHS ins only about £10 and for that you get a detailed estimate of work to be done.

If you feel uncomfortable at any time you can get up and leave and as I said, you never have to go back.

I had had private dentists tell me all sorts of work wanted doing. An NHS dentist does not make much money out of unnecessary work as it is not passed by the NHS so you can get a realistic and honest assessment of what needs doing.

Do you think you can do that? It may not be nearly as bad as you think it is going to be in terms of work needing to be done. Then at least you will know exactly what you are dealing with.

Like you I had not been for many years but was pleasantly surprised at the change in attitude. And the willy nilly taking out of wisdom teeth has stopped now so probably what you suffered before was unnecessary anyway.

I promise you it is not as bad as you imagine. I will not lie to you, it is terrifying making the appointment and you will feel wretched for a couple of days before working yourself up as I did. But I can also promise you you will be glad you did it.

I am not even suggesting you think as far as treatment at this time. Just let a dentist have a look and see what they say. I have a tooth which has broken down to just the root because of neglect. I expected the dentist to lecture me, he simply said 'that will come out in a couple of minutes' no comment on how it got that bad!

Hope that helps you. Keep posting here. xx

[letsconnect]

Hi Jenny ,

first of all, congratulations on having found your way here - I know myself how difficult it must have been to have a look for websites like this one. That takes a lot of guts, so - well done !!

I think a lot of people here have been, or are scared, that they would be told that it's "too late". But if you look e. g. in the "success stories" section, you'll find that a lot of people avoided dentists for 20 or more years, and many found that they needed a lot less work than expected. I'm not saying this is always the case, but a lot of people with a dental phobia have an exaggerated view of how much work might need to be done.

I would actually disagree when Soso when it comes to NHS vs private dentists. It is my belief, based on what I've heard (from inside sources) and read, that on average you will receive a higher standard of care if you go private. In many areas, NHS dentists are under a huge amount of pressure time-wise, and cannot give you the time you may need. So if you can afford private treatment, I would recommend looking into this option. It is not true that UK dentists who provide private treatment do unnecessary work - sure there are bad apples out there, but it wouldn't be the norm. I reckon that over the last 10 years, many dentists have become more conservative when it comes to deciding on whether and how to treat problems. On the flip-side, there has been a trend towards cosmetic procedures, some of which can be anything but conservative... but for the most part, there has been a trend towards less aggressive treatments. I can understand that Soso may be reluctant of going private (after a bad experience), but this is not "the norm".

We have two recommendations for Birmingham, but both of them accept private patients only. If this might be an option, let us know!

[den]

Hello Jenny...rest assured, you're in the right place - we're all terrified here!
I've recently gone back to the dentist after a 25-year absence and, believe me, I never thought I would be able to sit in that chair again!
Your problems sound very familiar...I have two broken (rear) teeth, I've suffered bleeding gums, like you I just assumed I would need major, major work, if ever I let a dentist near my mouth again. But amazingly...my broken teeth can be repaired, and my gum problems will probably be resolved by a thorough cleaning and scaling of my teeth.
Sounds horrible I know! But on my third visit, the dentist has started work, we're two-thirds the way round the bottom deck so, viewed from the right angle, I now have a smile like Tom Cruise.
The big, big hurdle to get over is to make that first appointment and go to the surgery. even if you just chat. even if you don't get in the chair.
I'm from the Birmingham area too, and I've found an excellent dentist in the city who is really patient and understanding of this phobia. He's private-only, and a one-man one-nurse operation...but he has a small patient list and that means he has more time to spend with you.
I don't think I'm allowed to post his name. but if you're interested I'd gladly send you a message.
whatever...good luck

[letsconnect]

Everyone's allowed to post names here, unless doing so would be libellous ;D! Negative reports should be submitted in private though.

[letsconnect]

Anyways, right now, there are two dentists on the "database" in Birmingham who don't mind being mentioned in public:

Graham Raven
Archways, 27 Cateswell Road, Hall Green
Ph: 0121 777 6080
E-Mail: gravenATarchways.go-plus.net (replace AT with @)

Dinesh Vegad
Studio 8, 50-54 St Paul's Square, Hockley
Ph: 0121-233 0867
www.dazzlingsmile.co.uk/

[jenny42]

Thank you all so much for replying.....the panic i feel when i even think about going is awful.....i think some of my teeth have "moved" because of periodontal disease and think because of this any dentsit will tell me i have to have all my teeth out!!!
Has anyone else had this happen?
I AM going to go and see someone.....and am grateful for the recommendations.....

Thanks

Jenny

[SoSoScared]

LC I do agree that there are good and bad in both the NHS and private practice.

I just feel that adding enormous cost to fear doesn't help and is another reason not to get work done. I have a well paid job but looking at the bill from the private guys I would have to sacrifice much else to pay for it. Using the NHS I have one less excuse not to get the work done!!

The NHS guy I saw yesterday had plenty of time and spent several minutes answering my questions. I know that may not always be the case but he had plenty of time and patience - again I am sure it varies.

All I am saying is if you can get the treatment you want at a much lower cost then go for it. We all pay into the NHS so we are to an extent using our own money anyway!

If Jenny shops around she may find what she needs at an economic price, but naturally if she cannot find what she wants on the NHS then it is worth scrimping and saving to go privately.